"Week" 1 complete.

Saturday is my new weigh-in/check-in with the weight loss clinic. Given the previous holiday weekend and my proclivity towards gluttony, I didn't start right away. Not until Tuesday. So it's been a whopping 4 days on the diet. Granted, the beginning is the worst part. Some slight headaches, anxiety, boredom, and energy lapses that couldn't be cured with a delicious meal.

Today has been significantly easier than previous days. Hopefully I'm at the part where my body has adapted to the new lower caloric intake and my brain can figure out new ways to handle things without a nice bowl of carbs.

My weight loss clinic wasn't able to do the body scan that tells me my makeup of fat, muscle, water, etc., so I don't know any percentages. I'm down 8 pounds. Hopefully most of it isn't muscle, but I won't know until next week.

From here, I want to lose 40 lbs to get to my goal of being at my lowest adult weight. I definitely wasn't perfect and I remember thinking I still needed to lose 20-30 lbs, but taking off the 40 lbs is my first goal. It's a lot to think about, but if I break it up into 20 and 20, hopefully it's more manageable to work through. Luckily, my boyfriend is also doing the program and my lovely best friend is doing Weight Watchers. So, it's good to have people around that aren't talking about chili dogs all day.

Exercise begins on Monday. Oh, joyous occasion.

Two weeks.

Off to the doctor I went. Was pleasantly surprised to see the loss of 6 lbs. I was expecting 3, so 6 was great. Half of it was muscle, half fat. Not thrilled about the further muscle loss, but the first week I lost 8 lbs and only 1 lb was fat. 


I saw the doctor and he advised me to continue the OptiFast and get in more protein. To do this I should have a small meal with a serving of protein and non-starchy vegetables. 


To be perfectly honest, I was not thrilled with this advice. I am finally totally adapted to my new lifestyle of being off food. It gave me anxiety. Making my own meals means less control. There's an element of being able to say "oh, just a little more..." or worse yet, reigniting that food addiction because I remember how much I enjoy eating. 

First meal in two weeks, you'd forget to snap the picture at the start, too.

I went to dinner at Houston's with a friend. I had the ahi tuna (6 ounces) and a side of broccoli that they drizzled with lemon juice and a little Parmesan Reggiano. I had a few bites of the appetizer  salad but ate around the bacon and croutons and gave up on the greens when I realized that the "light" tossing of dressing wasn't so light. All in all, it was a good meal. I wasn't ravenous, I wasn't overly excited about eating. Only problem? When I got home I had the urge to have a snack. I didn't get one, but I realized it's going to require me adapting to an entirely new program. 


Sure, it's only one meal. A simple meal. I was used to abstaining from regular  food, now I need to adapt to a little food and that's it. The doctor said to drink 3 shakes, do 1 bar, and have my small meal. He told me not to worry about the calories just as long as it's following the guidelines I mentioned above. So, yes. I am anxious. Walking/cardio/weight training was also advised to help prevent muscle loss. 


I decided that I will give it a week of following his advice and if I find that I am not getting ideal results or if I am going off of the deep end, I'm going to ask about the Optifast that's higher protein and go to that 100%. I'm just not confident that in two weeks I have broken my addictions and bad habits. 


In the past two weeks I have lost 14 lbs. I've lost a couple noticeable inches and I feel like I can stick with this to get the rest of the weight off. My first goal is to lose 41 lbs to get back to my lowest weight ever. Once I am there, I'll re-evaluate my goals and go from there. 


New beginnings... again. 

Heading into week two.

So far, so good... 
As of this posting, I'm 12 days on the program. Proud to say I haven't had a single morsel of real food in that time. Last night I had one extra shake after bike riding in the morning left me hungrier than usual. Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. 


It is constantly getting easier. Doesn't mean I wish I couldn't eat. Doesn't mean I don't miss going out to dinner. I truly feel like I have a lot of extra time on my hands. Food was a big part of my life. I wasn't just your average fat person that overate. I read gourmet magazines, food blogs, I collect cookbooks, I love new restaurants, and I think the point of traveling is to eat new food. So, reading the blogs is a slight torment. I can't go and bake those new and improved blueberry muffins. I can't go out to the new restaurant to try their specialty. 


Despite the Optifast program being fairly pricey, I'm definitely saving money. Between going out to eat regularly and buying gourmet ingredients to make the latest and greatest recipe, this diet is economical. 


This doesn't mean I'm not around food. My friends still eat. There's no way I'd tell them to skip dinner just because I only eat bars and have shakes. I'd feel a little awkward sitting in a restaurant telling the server that I'll just be having an iced tea while my companions dine. So, we go to quick-serve restaurants where it's a little less obvious that I'm eating a Control Bar instead of a slice of pizza. 


Would I recommend this diet? 
Yes. At two weeks, I am by no means an expert. I have at least 50 lbs to lose. Ideally more like 70. It can be overwhelming to think about all of the time it would take to lose the weight. At the recommended 2 lbs a week, that's close to a year. With OptiFast it will hopefully go by faster. If I'm truly lucky, I'll spend 3-4 months on this diet and then go into maintenance mode. 


If you're hesitant... 

How can you resist a meal in a juice box? 

If you aren't sure you can do it, give yourself two weeks. Commit yourself to two weeks of giving it all you can. If the best you can do is 75%, give 75%. Of course it will be hard at first. Any cut in calories is hard. In two weeks you can give your body a chance to adapt. You can see if the results are worth it to you. You can give yourself a real chance before determining that you're beyond help. Before I started this program, I thought I was a hopeless case that wasn't capable of losing a single pound. Who knows where I'll end up, but at least I have optimism now. 

One week.

I like my OptiFast in red cups. It's like a party 5 times a day. 

First weigh in: 


I went to the doctor's office yesterday to pick up more OptiFast and to get weighed. I expected around a 3 pound loss. Instead, it was -8. The scale scans your body and does a print out of your fat mass, lean body mass, and water. I was -7 lbs in the water department and -1.4 lbs in fat. They told me that water = muscle. Losing muscle seems counterproductive, but they assured me it's normal.


Of course I took to Google to find the answers and the things I found were that low calorie diets, low carb diets, low protein, and no resistance training can all lead to muscle loss. I have all of that going for me. The doctor's assistant told me they'd see where I was at next week, and if the muscle loss continues, my diet will be modified. 


On one hand, I'm totally happy to have seen the results. My previous diet attempts gave me no progress at all. I thought something was wrong with me, that I could never lose weight, and I'd have to live with this extra 50 lbs forever. Now I have more hope that that isn't the case. 


The day before I went in for my update, I was experiencing some pretty bad depression. I wanted to quit the diet because I missed food. I wasn't on the verge of binging or eating something off the diet or even an extra bar or shake. I wasn't even craving anything in particular. I just missed food. 


It made me think a lot about food addiction and just how strong it can be. I know I need to stick to the diet. I knew it was working, I just missed food. Food was my friend. I figured that alcoholics and drug addicts must have the same feelings. Funny enough, I'm in a better place than they are. In a few months, I will be eating again. Hell, in 3 weeks I'll be having a weekend vacation where I'll be off the program. It's not like I will never eat again. Unlike drug addicts or boozehounds, I don't have to give up my drug entirely. 


It's still a struggle. I'm low energy today, not feeling my best. On the bright side, I feel like I'm on the right track and that's a first in a very long time.